Make Lasting Change by Using 6 Community Building Techniques

Last week I wrote about building Step Ladders to help you reach goals.  That blog and this series is based off of a proven model written in Sean Young’s book, Stick With It – A Scientifically Proven Process for Changing Your Life for Good. 

Sean works at UCLA as a behavioral psychologist and medical school professor.  He is the Executive Director of the University of California’s Institute for Prediction Technology and UCLA’ Center for Digital Behavior.  

Frankly, I’m fascinated by his book, mainly because it’s based off science, and in this case, science that helps us change for good.

Before I talk about communities, I’d like to back track and discuss different types of behaviors associated with habits.  We all have habits, both good and not so good. Since we often focus on shifting unhealthy habits, it’s beneficial to know what type of behavior we want to change.  Dr. Young uses the ABC’s to explain behavior types.

A – Automatic behaviors are firmly ingrained.  We do these things without conscious knowledge and that makes automatic behaviors especially difficult to stop.   Examples include nail biting and improper posture.

B – Burning behaviors are irresistible urges.  Our habits or addiction to forms of social media often fall into a burning behavior category.  Burning behaviors might include checking our likes or engagement. Email loops can pull us in and consume much of our day.  Burning behaviors are slightly easier to change than automatic behaviors, but still require quite a bit of effort.

C – Common behaviors are the lesser of the behavioral change evils. An example of common behavior is preferring ice cream or chips over healthier options.  They are not as ingrained but nonetheless a behavior pattern we need to be aware of.

The good news is there are techniques that can help each of us change the A, B, C’s of behavior. 

Before we jump into how building community can help, let’s recap last week’s blog describing the benefits of using the Step Ladder technique.  The details can be found here, in Series 1 of this blog series on How to Bullet Proof Your Motivation.

 How to Bullet Proof Your Motivation, One Step at a Time

Key Take Aways:

There are 3 rungs to the ladder.   At the top of your ladder is your dreams.  

How do you get there?

1.  Dreams are on the top rung and seem like you’re reaching for the clouds.
2. Goals help you reach those dreams and there are 2 types:
   1. Short term goals – achieved in less than 3 months
   2. Longer term goals – generally take longer than 3 months
3. Steps – the steps or tasks you do each day help you achieve your goals.  Each goal that you achieve gets you closer to your dream.

How Do Communities Help Us Change?

Now that you understand A, B, C’s of behaviors and the Step Ladder concept, let’s chat about the benefits of communities.

There are two ways to get communities to work for you.  You can join an existing community, or you can build one, but why would you do either?  

There’s an easy answer.  Science proves that we need to be influenced in order to make change happen.

How are we most influenced?  Through community.

Let’s talk about community influence.  Let’s say your friend invites you to join a new social media group.  You are reluctant because it’s a platform that allows you to chat with colleagues that work at your same company.  The interaction is allegedly anonymous.  

Let’s say you work at Buy it Green (not a real company; at least not to my knowledge).  You are concerned about sharing your concerns. Will your comments and thoughts truly be anonymous?

You run into your friend again, this time, he is with another person.  Both friends work for Buy it Green. They are chatting it up about all the support, networking and “in-the-know” in this new network. 

You are beginning to feel left out.  The left out feeling continues for a while until another employee of Buy it Green tells you how wonderful this social network is.  You finally decide to try it out.

That’s the power of influence; influence within community. 

1. Your fiend, someone you trust invites you in.
2. You are exposed to the benefits of inclusion in this community.
3. Others who you trust, either a first level connection or close connection experience good things in this community.
4. You decide that you’ll join the community, at least for a while to see if it works for you.

6 Principles of Effective Communities:

In his book, Stick With It, Dr. Young writes about the 6 proven principles of effective communities.  You’ll be able to notice many if not all of them in my example above:

1. The Need to Trust 

Trusting is fundamental to building communities.  In the case of my example, “you” trusted your friend, but didn’t fully understand and trust the platform.  That is, not until you were exposed to many positive references from “your” colleagues at Buy it Green.

2. The Need to Fit In

This seems like a no-brainer, right?  In my example, “you” needed to fit in.  Yes, the platform was about your work, your company, with your colleagues, but were “you” a good fit?  Did the network offer something of value to you? Did you trust that what you said or did would truly be anonymous?  That is all part of the “fit in” equation. It may not matter if you are in the same line of work or even the same age or share the same interest.  Those things are common denominators, but what else did “you” need to fit in?

3.  The Need for Self-Worth 

If you join the Buy It Green forum will it contribute to your self- worth?  Think about that. What do we all crave? We want to be heard.  We want to do a good job, but we need the right resources and support to be successful.  All those things contribute to our self-worth. The Buy It Green network just might be the ticket, especially if it fulfills the need to contribute to your self-worth.

4. The Need for a Social Magnet

The social magnet phenomena are not literal rather figurative.  The Buy It Green forum creates a space for employees of that company to meet, greet, share concerns, communicate across departments and most of all connect.  The magnet is the connection that keeps the members working towards a common goal.

5. The Need to Be Rewarded

We all like to be rewarded.  That’s why we build burning behaviors related to social media.  How many times have you checked your likes or messages? Having said that, if we want to build or belong in community we need to be rewarded within that community.  The fictitious member of the Buy It Green network could be rewarded in many ways.  Some colleagues could shout out kudos for a job well done, while some may act as cheerleaders and encouragers.  There are many examples of reward systems that could support the Buy It Green tribe.

6. The Need to Be Empowered

Likewise, people need to feel in control of their lives to feel empowered.  We build empowerment from self-efficacy, our belief in our ability to succeed.  Each success leads to more empowerment. How would the Buy It Green network help empower its members?  ‘You” in this fictitious case scenario, may not have felt like your voice was being heard. 

Let’s use a specific example. Let’s say you had ideas about how-to better track project implementations.  You are reluctant to share your ideas because the company, while innovative, doesn’t have extra time on their hands.  They are small and maxing all their resources.

How could you pitch a more effective way without adding strain? You could pitch the idea to your anonymous colleagues in the Buy It Green network.  Keeping it positive and solution based, will, at a minimum help you feel like you were able to share your idea.  Spreading the idea builds momentum. And perhaps someone within the network knows how to best position your idea or give you ideas about positioning.  Empowerment. Your idea doesn’t go stagnant. You don’t stop generating ideas for improvement, rather you stay engaged because you feel like this is a safe place and it meets the 6 key principles for a successful community.

Recap:

Change is hard but possible when we stick with it.  We use the Step Ladder approach, turning tasks into workable segments.  Those completed tasks help us climb the rungs of the Step Ladder approach.  We reach goals, short and long term, and finally achieve our dreams.

Dr. Young classified behaviors as an A, B, or C.  They are either automatic, burning or common behaviors.  Various techniques work when addressing different types of behavior. 

Communities are effective when trying to change behaviors because they help us:

1. Build a sense of trust
2. Fulfill the need to fit in
3. Give us a sense of self-worth
4. Provide us with a social magnet
5. Help us feel rewarded
6. Fulfill a sense of empowerment

If you don’t belong to a community that supports you in this way, then seek one out.  If you can’t find a good fit, then consider leading a community that you help build. I’m doing that very thing.  

I will gather my tribe by connecting with them via my show Boom Baby Boom.  It will begin airing on Transformation T.V. in May! I’ll also offer one of my signature courses, IMPACT in late May or June.  If you would like to be notified of the course release, then pop over to my website and fill out the contact me form, and type IMPACT in the subject line.

I’m looking forward to bonding with my community, my tribe.  I’ll see you on the inside soon. Very soon!

About the Author:

Kimberly Sheldahl is a former executive, turned Kolbe Certified ™ Consultant who is also an Integrative Health Coach. Kimberly is passionate about the integration of productivity and well-being.  She is the host of BOOM Baby BOOM, a T.V. show/podcast which will begin airing on Transformation TV in April.  She is also the #1 Best Selling Author of Hack Into OZ, Get the Most Out of Life, available on Amazon.  Her course, IMPACT, will be released late May.  The modules include science backed data on building happiness, self-belief (efficacy), self-control (regulation), building habits, and staying motivated.